“You are the moose in the clearing and the moose head on the wall. You are the rapids, the propeller, the kerosene lamp. You are the dust that covers the berries by the roadside. But not only that. You are the two boys with buckets walking along that road, and one of them, the tallest one without the straw hat, is me.
Billy Collins dedicated these lines to the one and only Canada. A land full of myth, civility and rivers of maple syrup flowing into the mouths of travelers and locals alike. A Facebook group called Meanwhile in Canada shares the witty, silly, and downright hilarious memes that define the country.
Dear Pandarandas, feel free to fill your boots with this wonderful collection of funny-haha photos, vote for your favorites and leave some comments, because why not, eh? And if you’re yearning for more, here’s another article, and since we’re being generous, another one here.
I have a confession to make, dear reader. I’ve never been to Canada myself. Incredible, I know! All the miraculous things I miss really burden my soul with yearning and longing. Especially if it’s maple syrup flavored. On pancakes. With a crackling fire in the background, the heat hitting my back…
Enough daydreaming, let’s take a look at what people love most about Canada. Catherine Atton, who compiled a list of 11 things Canadians love about their homeland, presents them as the incredible landscapes, the wildlife, the craft breweries, the friendliness of the people, hockey and the food.
Who can forget poutine? Thick-cut fries, homemade gravy and melted cheese combine into a mouth-watering treat that fills you with happiness and salt. The secret of this dish lies in the use of real cheese curds.
If you can’t get cheese curds, the best substitute would be torn pieces from a full-fat block of mozzarella cheese. Seasons & Suppers has a nice little recipe for this food of the gods if you want to try it for yourself. Trust me – it’s worth it!
One sip of poutine and you’ll pack your bags, buy a one-way ticket and plan your life in Canada. But hold on, quick! Every country has its own positives and negatives that should be considered before anyone decides to uproot their life and adopt a new culture.
Researching countries and cities around the world, Charlie Clissitt has put together a list of things you need to know about Canada as a whole. This is the second time I mention a list within a list… I’m getting Inception vibes, but I have to avoid getting distracted and give you some of this information that you’re curious about, huh?
The country is the second largest in the world. Charlie explained that it would take you more than four years to walk along the shoreline. To make it all a bit clearer, Canada is divided into thirteen parts (ten ‘provinces’ and three ‘territories’). However, many cities are world-class, scoring top marks in health, education, environment, infrastructure and stability.
Two Canadians die and end up in hell. Satan decides to visit them so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they are happy.
They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we come from, and this place is nice and warm.”
Satan angrily storms off and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he raises the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians’ room, begged by all kinds of people on the way to turn the heating down again. He enters the room and sees the Canadians barbecuing. Furious, he asks them what they are doing.
“Well, we can’t let this lovely weather go by without getting out the BBQ!”
Satan realizes he has done wrong. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down to a lower temperature than ever on Earth.
He knows he has now won, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, where he sees them jumping up and down in excitement. He furiously yells at them, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!”
They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze! That means the Leafs won!”
Canada is also very multicultural with over 20% of Canadians born in another country. Honestly, there’s plenty of room for everyone to move around. It also has two official languages namely English and French.
However, there is also the good old Canadian slang. When someone goes to the “biffy”, they go to the toilet. A $1 coin is a “loonie” and a $2 coin is a “toonie”. There is more, but I especially like this one.
But every coin has two sides, of course. It’s getting freezing cold. Aside from the western coast of the country in British Columbia, the average winter temperature never rises above zero. Large parts of the country could drop to -30°C (-22°F) or -40°C (-40°F). Also watch out for the bears. There are three species to worry about, from least to most scary: black bears, grizzly bears, and polar bears.
Moving2Canada adds a few other things to consider. Tipping is mandatory for wait staff (the standard tip is 15% of the total bill), it takes a long time to find a job, rent and transportation are expensive, it is illegal to smoke in public places and your driver’s license may be invalid depending on the province or territory you decide to move to. Fun stuff.
But we’re here to enjoy the funny side of things. So please, dear reader, forget your worries in life, forget about your life in general and enjoy the present moment surrounded by a lot of funny memes. Take a deep breath, let it out and keep scrolling, upgrading your favorites.
Looking forward to seeing you all in the next one, and g’day!